Rediscovering Moments: The Impact of Digital Photo Memories on Our Well-Being

In today's digital age, we have an incredible technology that brings back photo memories from days gone by. Isn't it amazing? These snapshots from social media are more than just images; they can evoke powerful emotions and reactions. Have you ever noticed how these photos affect your nervous system?

Every time I see an old photo pop up, I feel a rush of nostalgia, happiness, and sometimes even a bit of melancholy. It's fascinating to observe how my body and mind respond to these visual cues. These memories can make my heart race, bring a smile to my face, or even bring tears to my eyes.

Some photos affect my nervous system in a very expansive and pleasant way. I feel happy, joyful, and grateful—sometimes I laugh out loud, smile, and rejoice. These positive reactions are often accompanied by a warm sensation spreading through my chest, a lightness in my body, and a genuine sense of contentment.

On the flip side, other photos affect my nervous system in a very constricted and unpleasant way. I feel sad, tense, and nostalgic. At times, my stomach tightens into a knot, my breathing shallows, and my chest aches with a deep, almost tangible pain. These reactions remind me that not all memories are sweet; some carry a weight of unresolved emotions and past loss.

This Photo Felt Different

Today, this particular photo felt different. It sparked curiosity, fascination, and inspiration, compelling me to take a deep dive into its story and share it with you all.

This photo was taken in June 2014 at my youngest daughter Rachel’s graduation from middle school. Let me introduce you to the people in it: my former husband Tony, my daughter Alexa on the right, Rachel on the left, and my cute mommy Dorinda in the front.

A Journey into Shamanism

I attended my first Vision Quest in North Carolina in October 2013, where I was introduced to African and Celtic Shamanism by my first teacher, Kedar Brown. By then, I was already deeply committed to Native American Shamanism, a journey that began with my first sweat lodge experience in Huntington Beach, CA, in 1989. The medicine man leading that ceremony resonated with me profoundly. At the time, I was dedicated to 12-step programs and had two years of sobriety. The teachings from the medicine man felt very familiar to me, and I embraced them fully, diving into the practice and attending sweat lodges ever since.

A sweat lodge was also a part of my 10-day Vision Quest. It was uncomfortable AF, but I embraced the discomfort and fell in love with this practice that originated in the seventeenth century. Sweat lodges have played a vital role in Native American cultures and are used for cleansing, purification, and spiritual communion. I attend them regularly and highly recommend them as a substance-free way to grow and evolve.

The Light in My Eyes

Back to the photo. Eight months after my Vision Quest, this photo was taken. I can see the light in my eyes and a genuine smile. I had fallen deeply in love with Shamanism and, for the first time in my life, I FELT HOME. I planned a small Vision Quest for November 2014, just five months after this photo was taken. I wanted to introduce Kedar Brown to my community, so we organized a three-day Vision Quest on Catalina Island. Seventeen people signed up, and we experienced a brief taste of indigenous practices and wisdom, including a sweat lodge we built on the shore of Catalina Island. 

That sweat lodge experience deserves an entire blog of its own. During that time, I was given a new medicine name, changing from Dream Star Speaks to Dream Star Listens. I emerged a new person, having completely surrendered to death. I was shown my first death when I drowned in a pool at the age of two and was told that the number two would be very important to me.

Two Years Later: October 2015

When I returned home in November 2014, my former husband remarked on the significant change he noticed in me. I no longer watched TV, did a lot of reading and research and had become more engaged with my family. I felt very connected to the spirit realm. I even told my mom that I had received a premonition that she would not be with us by Christmas 2015. At the time, her eyesight and hearing were almost completely gone, which had made her life very limited. Our family had a unique perspective on death, so she was surprisingly happy to hear the news. Despite being 96 years old, she had no health problems and wasn’t on any medications; her only ailments were blindness and deafness. I had no idea how it would happen, but I felt certain it would.

In February 2015, I discovered that her trusted caretaker was using heroin while caring for her. This shocking revelation meant we immediately needed to find a care facility for my mom. She was upset about moving to a facility but did not want to live with me. By April 2015, she had a fall at the facility, marking the beginning of her decline. By September, doctors were astonished that she was still alive and expected her to pass any day. Miraculously, she stayed with us until October 31, 2015. Her passing was a beautiful experience that deserves its own blog post, as it was profoundly moving and fascinating.

During this same month, a severe conflict with my former husband led to the end of our 35-year marriage. This intense and transformative period occurred exactly two years after my Vision Quest in 2013, marking a synchronicity with the #2 that was shown to me in the 2014 Lodge.

Embracing Change and Reflection

Looking back, those two years were filled with profound changes and deep emotional experiences. My journey through shamanism, the premonition about my mom, the end of my marriage and the loss of my family were all interwoven in ways that reshaped my life. Each event taught me valuable lessons about resilience, acceptance, and the impermanence of life.

The Beauty of Letting Go

The experience of my mom’s decline and her eventual passing was especially transformative. Despite the sadness, there was a profound beauty in witnessing her journey and being present for her final moments. Our shared understanding of death allowed us to embrace her passing with grace and love.

Moving Forward

As I continue to navigate life’s twists and turns, I am reminded of the importance of staying present and engaged with the people and moments that matter most. The lessons learned over my 61 years have fortified my spirit and deepened my appreciation for the connections we share with others.

Embracing Discomfort and Conflict

I've come to realize that most, if not all, of my personal growth has emerged from moments of discomfort. Grief, loss, and conflict are energies that many of us humans instinctively avoid. However, these very experiences have been instrumental in my journey of self-discovery and transformation.

During my 35-year marriage, we practiced unhealthy conflict styles. Our arguments would oscillate between heated fights and complete avoidance. Sometimes one of us would argue while the other withdrew, or one would simply give in or give up, leading to a buildup of anger and resentment. Reflecting on these patterns, I am grateful for the progress I've made in embracing healthy conflict practices.

Leaning into pain and conflict may seem counterintuitive, yet it is exactly what is needed for total freedom!

This journey has taught me to practice healthy conflict resolution. Instead of being a conflict avoider, I now:

Listen Carefully and Communicate Honestly: I prioritize understanding over being understood. This means actively listening and expressing my thoughts and feelings transparently.

Respond with Empathy and Compassion: I approach conflicts with a mindset of empathy and compassion, aiming to understand the other person's perspective before responding.

Shift Perspectives: I make a conscious effort to view situations through different lenses, releasing the need to be right. This helps in finding common ground and fostering mutual respect.

Seek Understanding Over Agreement: My goal is not necessarily to agree but to understand. This shift in focus has enabled more meaningful and respectful dialogues.

Respond vs. React: I strive to respond thoughtfully rather than react impulsively. This involves taking a moment to process my emotions and thoughts before engaging in the conversation.

Negotiate and Meet Needs: I am willing to negotiate and find solutions that meet the needs of both parties without abandoning my own. This balanced approach promotes fairness and mutual satisfaction.

Embracing discomfort and conflict has not been easy, but it has been incredibly rewarding. These practices have allowed me to transform my relationships and foster a deeper connection with myself and others. They serve as a reminder that growth often lies beyond our comfort zones and that healthy conflict resolution is a vital skill for meaningful and harmonious relationships.

Today, I appreciate this photo and the deep dive into reflecting on how far I have come over the last eight years. I have persevered through very tough times and emerged stronger. This journey has been marked by significant personal growth and resilience. 

I celebrate myself today, acknowledging every small step taken in the direction of personal growth and recovery. I encourage each of you to do the same. Celebrate your progress daily, no matter how small the steps may seem. Every effort towards betterment is worthy of recognition and honor. Let's continue to embrace our journeys, finding strength in our struggles and joy in our triumphs. Aho.