My Journey Within: How Ceremony and Connection Transformed My Healing Path

A big warm “HI” to everyone taking time out of their day to join me in cyberspace and listen to my story. I am grateful for the opportunity to share my experience and hope that some of it may resonate with you. 

To begin, I’ll share that I have dealt with depression and anxiety, taken countless psychiatric medications, and been in psychotherapy for many years. I’m what some professionals would call a “treatment-resistant” patient. I mention this to provide context: nothing has been as transformative for my mental health as the guided medicine journey I underwent. I am a firm believer in divine timing and that no time is ever wasted. Wherever you may be on your healing journey, my nugget of wisdom is this: if something is meant for you, it will find you.

Ceremony: A Journey Beyond Words

 I went into the ceremony with an open mind and heart, blissfully unaware of the intergalactic rollercoaster I was about to strap into. Everyone has a different experience that is deeply personal, so I won’t try to make this seem like a one-size-fits-all story. I can only speak for myself. I confronted every emotion under the sun and expressed deeply hidden parts of my soul.

You gotta purge before you merge.

In the final hours of my journey, I was met with a sense of connection and understanding of all parts of the world. In what I can only describe as death, I learned that the only thing that mattered was the love we had for each other. I don't know how else to say it without sounding trite, but it felt so deeply true. It was so simple yet so profound.

I experienced a divine connection to Source, an intense love, and an understanding of life. Coming out of the medicine, I felt a deep bond with those around me. We had all just had our own journeys but were connected through the medicine and a shared container. My guards were down, and my intuition was high. In those first come-back-to-Earth moments, I felt a choice that seemed so obvious yet new: to connect with others in complete love. I let the love pour out of me and felt it pour back in, a whirlwind of light and love.

Outcomes: A Newfound Courage and Connection

After the ceremony, I felt a newfound courage within myself. I have noticed that I have a lot less fear: my previous conceptions of just about everything had been deconstructed. Therefore, I have much less judgment, allowing me to judge myself less. It’s a positive feedback loop: where others feel safe to share, more will join and continue a cycle of nonjudgmental existence. There has been an ego death, allowing me to connect with others and dissolve illusions of hierarchical value. We all exist on the same plane. Living, being, and connecting now felt expansive and less scary. The simplest way I can put it (as someone who has experienced years of mental illness and fatigue) is that

I was less in my head and more in my heart.

I experienced a complete rebirth after crossing into another realm of consciousness. The medicine cut through all the stories, traumas, and fears that kept me separate from others; for the first time, I felt like I could see everyone’s pure souls, and they could see mine. I wasn’t hiding anymore, because I don’t feel the same fear of being who I am or of others being who they are.

Anam Cara: The Blessing of Soul Friends

There is an Irish funeral blessing that beautifully encapsulates the collective journey the group underwent:

I pray that you will have the blessing of being consoled…

May you know in your soul that there is no need to be afraid.

When your time comes, may you be given every blessing and shelter that you need.

May there be a beautiful welcome for you in the home that you are going to.

You are not going somewhere strange.

You are going back to the home that you never left.

May you have a wonderful urgency to live your life to the full.

May you live compassionately and creatively and transfigure everything

that is negative within you and about you.

When you come to die may it be after a long life.

May you be peaceful and happy and in the presence of those who really care for you.

May your going be sheltered and your welcome assured.

May your soul smile in the embrace of your anam cara (soul friend).

In the Celtic tradition, “soul friends” are considered an essential and integral part of spiritual development. Participating in all that Soul Vision offers has allowed me to blossom in my own anam cara—an exciting, ever-evolving community of loving individuals. I feel blessed to be part of a circle of brave souls who freely share themselves. Everyone’s existence is enough. I’m adopting a language within myself that orbits positivity. I find myself being present and learning to be okay with exactly who I am in every moment.

Parts Work: Embracing Every Part of Myself

In therapy, we do something called “Parts Work,” which explores the exiled and shameful parts at our brain’s control panel that protect us from pain and suffering. Some examples of these parts include resistance, judgment, defensiveness, and people-pleasing.

The goal isn’t to erase them but to love and embrace them, inviting these parts to step away from control so our highest selves can lead. It has taken me some time to fully understand Parts Work, but I have opened myself to the vulnerability and courage it calls for. I am confronting a lot through this process and learning to alchemize my grief into empowerment.

Jules refers to it as the transition from “victim” to “warrior.” I am learning new things about myself and practicing gentleness. I’m practicing acceptance of myself, with all my Parts, knowing they do not define me.

Transformation: The Power of Facing Myself

My healing journey has become a conversation with myself.

Through the power of the medicine, I had a raw look within, confronting who I am at every level; nothing could be hidden anymore.

Transformation can be scary, especially for those of us who have lived in our creature comforts for so long.

What is more terrifying: everything changing or everything staying the same? This medicine empowered me to challenge my limiting beliefs from a place of genuine love, deep understanding, and assured confidence.